Innocent Joy: 3 year old knock knock joke

Kylie's Quotes

Me: Kylie look I had this calculator when I was in high school

Kylie: Oh that's cool, so it's like a 150 years old or something?! Man! She sure knows how to make her mama feel old!! 2/7/12

"Daddy were your working or just flying?" 8/15/11

Said to her opponent while boxing on the Wii "You're about to lose your glasses Son!" 3/19/11

"Mommy when did you say the dinosaurs roamed the earth? Like the 1970's?" 2/22/11

Mom I accidentally wrote on Lacey's foot. I didn't know the pen was open. But your going to think it was on purpose because it looks like a 4!

Mommy did you know that all snakes are boys? No there not. Well all frogs are boys. Why do you think that? Because they have no hair! ...this is the world according to Kylie (2/2010

Kylie was outside riding her bike and says "get out of the way old man, Dad asks her what she said and she responds "get out of the way old man PLEASE!" 7/12/10

"Mommy you know when the baby is born your going to have to show your boob when you have to feed him." 7/1/

Kylie has some tans lines started and when I pointed them out to her she said 'Oh they look like white tatoos!" 6/20/

"Mommy you said you'd be outside in 2 degrees hours!"

I told Kylie I to go and get my teeth fixed she told me that I should learn how to be a GOOD teeth brusher like her and then I wouldn't have to get my teeth fixed! 3/10/2010

I told Kylie that I was going on a diet because Mommy's getting too fat. She told me that I was 'just right'. Then later in the day told me my belly wasn't fat it just looks like there's a baby in it! ......There is NO BABY 3/9/2010

After getting in trouble in school today Kylie told her teacher Ms. Lisa that "when she woke up this morning she knew she was going ot be ornery today" 3/4/2010

Kylie: Excuse me mommy I was just talking to a gorilla. Me: A Gorilla? Kylie: Yes a gorilla is a british cowgirl and thats what I am! 3/3/2010

While putting the girls to bed Kylie said "I'm going to be a doctor when I grow up so that I can take care of you and Daddy so you guys will never die" 2/16/2010

Kylie to Papa: "Papa you have to wear a hat because your head is so plain, because you don't have any hair on top!" 9/20/09

"Reading" a story to Lacey: "Then the kids ran away from their mother, she was very angry so she bited them and bleeded them. They were sad but then had chocolate cake and then they were happy again!" 2/23/09

"I'm starving for death!" (2/14/09)

(She was angry at me at the store) "When I grow up and I'm 5, I'm never going to listen to you!" (2/8/09)

(Shaking her head) "Great, just great, terrific" (9/8/08)

"Mommy I have a crank (cramp) in my foot!" (8/4/08)

A quote from a song that Kylie made up, "If you can breave (breathe) then you can see!"

Overheard at Old Navy while she was looking at a maternity dress "This is so beautiful, I can't believe my eyes!"

Did you know a butterfly is called an insect?!

Mommy, silence means quiet, you need to be quiet when I say silence. OK?

Mommy I know why your tummy hurts, the baby just keeps kicking, kicking, and kicking!

Hey Daddy want to watch the Alvin and the Munk Chips with me?" (Chipmunks Movie)

I was talking to Kylie about getting her hair trimmed..."Mommy, Daddy doesn't want my hair cut and girls don't get "short cuts" only boys do." (haircuts)

"Mommy do you like my bandaid?" (head band)

Playing with her blocks & Dora , "Mommy will you make a door garage for Dora?" (garage door)

Looking at her face in the mirror, "Mommy this is my head fore." (forehead)

After finishing going to the bathroom, "Mommy come see, I used up all of the paper toilet!" (toilet paper)

While driving to Wal-Mart...Kylie says, "Mommy are we vamosing?" I think she's watched dora too much.

Lacey's Quotes

'You ruined my Morning' (this after getting in trouble...lol) 10/28/12 'Whoa! Those are some pretty big oranges, they are like fe fi fo oranges!" (Lacey's reaction to see normal size oranges instead of the clemintine oranges we usually buy) (3/8/12) "Mom, yesterday I'm going to be good today...in the afternoon." (3/7/12) Daddy I got my name on the board today, and my teachers EVEN knowed how to spell my name! (2/25/12)

"You are a mean Mommy, you won't even let your girl have some candy before dinner!" 2/24/12

Lacey: Mommy I have a headache Me: You do? Where does it hurt? Lacey: In my belly 2/22/12

Lacey: Mommy you need to stop talking because it makes my leg hurt. See? It hurts righ here (pointing to her ankle) Me: Ok I'm sorry Lacey: Thank you Mommy 2/16/12

On our way home from daycare last night Lacey was taking a long time trying to tell me something so I said "Spit it out Lacey" Lacey: I not have 'nuffing in my mouf' Me: That means spit out your words Lacey: If I spit them out I won't have nuffing to say! Me: Never mind. (2/2/12) "Mommy when I grow up I'm gonna be a mom. And you're gonna be a Kylie" (1/24/12) Lacey: Mommy I have a headache! Me: You do? Where does it hurt? Lacey: In my tounge you can't see it (1/25/12)

Lacey: Mommy I need some pixie dust Me: You need PIXIE dust, why? Lacey: So I can fly! Lacey: Mommy when is Peter Pan coming to our house? Me: Well you have to go to sleep first. Lacey: Then he will come?! Me: Maybe so..

Lacey: Mommy I didn't see Peter Pan last night Me: You didn't?! Lacey: No Me: Well maybe tonight after you fo to bed Lacey: Yeah and maybe tonight, but I haffa sleep good! 1/11/12

"poh wee the piggies needa new diaper on, right mommy?" (1/6/12)

When Greg came home from work one day: "Daddy you fall out of the airplane?" Yes, I guess I did. "Daddy you haffa hold on to da airplane!" 8/14/11

"When I grow an be a Dad I'm gonna cook" 6/20/11 "Today is my Daddy's brday, he is 30-10 today" 6/20/11

"Just forget it" when I couldn't understand what she was telling me after the third time. 3/17/11

"I gib up" after trying to get her piece of candy open all by herself. 3/17/11

"Hey Mom, check this out!" before jumping off the couch. 3/18/11

"Actually 2" when asked how old she is. 3/20/11