Wednesday, August 29, 2007
AN OPEN LETTER TO MR. JAMES THATCHER BRAND MANAGER AT PROCTER & GAMBLE.
I found this on the internet somewhere (I don't remember where) but I thought it was so funny I just had to share. If it is from your website email me and I will give you the proper credit you are due. Enjoy!
__________________________________________________
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for
over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their
features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core ™ or
Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go
horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly
steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight,
white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your
revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only
company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that
maxi pads be aerodynamic.
I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month
knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants. Have you
ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever
suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't.
Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As
I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently
surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now,
my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what
my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with
knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?
As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division,
you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what
exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits
from Aunt Flo.
Therefore, you must know about the bloating,
puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our
intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control
behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for
most women. In fact, only last week, my friend
Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her
boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just
because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was
written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that
America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in
capri pants.
Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last
month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I
wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus,
I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the
adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy
Period."
Are you kidding me? What I mean is, does
any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really
think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
happiness-is possible during a menstrual period? Did
anything mentioned above sound the least bit
pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're
some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be
anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack
yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in
your house just so you don't march down to the local
Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy
plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you
just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad,
wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's
actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or
"Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just
picking on us?
Sir, please inform your accounting department that,
effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in
monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad
business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss
your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
brand of condescending BS.
And that's a promise I will keep - Always.
Best Regards,
Wendi Aarons
__________________________________________________
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for
over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their
features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core ™ or
Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go
horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly
steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight,
white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your
revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only
company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that
maxi pads be aerodynamic.
I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month
knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants. Have you
ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever
suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't.
Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As
I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently
surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now,
my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what
my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with
knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?
As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division,
you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what
exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits
from Aunt Flo.
Therefore, you must know about the bloating,
puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our
intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control
behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for
most women. In fact, only last week, my friend
Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her
boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just
because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was
written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that
America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in
capri pants.
Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last
month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I
wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus,
I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the
adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy
Period."
Are you kidding me? What I mean is, does
any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really
think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
happiness-is possible during a menstrual period? Did
anything mentioned above sound the least bit
pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're
some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be
anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack
yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in
your house just so you don't march down to the local
Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy
plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you
just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad,
wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's
actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or
"Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just
picking on us?
Sir, please inform your accounting department that,
effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in
monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad
business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss
your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
brand of condescending BS.
And that's a promise I will keep - Always.
Best Regards,
Wendi Aarons
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Wordless Wednesday - Birthday
My daughter enjoying her 3rd birthday at Chuck E Cheese. We were really suprised she wanted to go there considering she doesn't even like Chuck E. She did great as long as he stayed far away, if she thought he was comming close she would start to get scared.
If I Die Before You Wake
It doesn't matter how you feel about the war, this a moving and heartwarming video. It is sung by Dustin Evans, an American soldier
Monday, August 27, 2007
Photo Hunters "Happy"
Watching my daughter and her best friend having fun watching Chuck E Cheese & the band is what makes me happy. Watching them enjoying themselves and being happy makes me happy!
For more great pictures and to see what make other people happy check out PhotoHunters!
For more great pictures and to see what make other people happy check out PhotoHunters!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
A POEM called "I love her then, tomorrow, and always "
I found this poem at http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/ and I thought it was so perfect, especially since Kylie just turned 3 earlier this month. Enjoy...
I LOVE HER THEN ,NOW, AND ALWAYS
© Danielle R. Workman
My baby girl is now three
I have wiped her tears, cuddled her fears
shared her cheers
I love her and she loves me
But see she is only three, we will disagree
With age, emotions will turn like the weather
I will wipe different tears, cuddle new fears
And hopefully still share cheers
I will always listen, that’s a guarantee
New things will come up boys, rules, beers
I know life as a young adult is exciting
But scary and hard at the same time
I hope she loves me as much then as now
I hope I steer her in the right direction
So hopefully she will avoid a crime
Communication, understanding, affection
Hard! WOW!
But whatever she chooses in her life
I will always be there for her
The good, bad and indifferent cause
I love her now, then, and always
© Danielle R. Workman
My baby girl is now three
I have wiped her tears, cuddled her fears
shared her cheers
I love her and she loves me
But see she is only three, we will disagree
With age, emotions will turn like the weather
I will wipe different tears, cuddle new fears
And hopefully still share cheers
I will always listen, that’s a guarantee
New things will come up boys, rules, beers
I know life as a young adult is exciting
But scary and hard at the same time
I hope she loves me as much then as now
I hope I steer her in the right direction
So hopefully she will avoid a crime
Communication, understanding, affection
Hard! WOW!
But whatever she chooses in her life
I will always be there for her
The good, bad and indifferent cause
I love her now, then, and always
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
She's moving on...
Saturday was a big day for Kylie. She has been taking swimming lessons at the YMCA since April. She was in the class that was for infants ages 6 mos to 3 years old. In this class the parent "swims" with the child. It is really a water familiarization class.
Since this coming Saturday will be the last week of the swimming class for the this session and the fact that Kylie is now too old to be in the same class Kylie's teacher and I were discussing what class to put her into. There are 2 different classes, they are both called Pikes. One of the Pikes classes is with the parent the other is without. We were trying to decide if we should enroll in the class with me or not. Both of us had decided that she really didn't seem ready to go without me so we enrolled her in the class with the parents. But then in a stroke of pure geniusness her teacher asked if maybe we could try the class without the parent. This was a great idea because Kylie is never ready to get out when her class is over and the Pike class without the parent is immediately after her class so we could just stay and see.
Well, I have to tell you it was a very proud moment for me. Kylie did absolutely wonderful, she didn't cry for Mommy and she did everything her teacher asked her to do. I was so happy for her.
So she's moved on...to the next level swimming class. The Pike's without parent class. This actually works out better since the class is on Saturday mornings instead on Tuesday evenings.
Since this coming Saturday will be the last week of the swimming class for the this session and the fact that Kylie is now too old to be in the same class Kylie's teacher and I were discussing what class to put her into. There are 2 different classes, they are both called Pikes. One of the Pikes classes is with the parent the other is without. We were trying to decide if we should enroll in the class with me or not. Both of us had decided that she really didn't seem ready to go without me so we enrolled her in the class with the parents. But then in a stroke of pure geniusness her teacher asked if maybe we could try the class without the parent. This was a great idea because Kylie is never ready to get out when her class is over and the Pike class without the parent is immediately after her class so we could just stay and see.
Well, I have to tell you it was a very proud moment for me. Kylie did absolutely wonderful, she didn't cry for Mommy and she did everything her teacher asked her to do. I was so happy for her.
So she's moved on...to the next level swimming class. The Pike's without parent class. This actually works out better since the class is on Saturday mornings instead on Tuesday evenings.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Thursday, August 9, 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYLIE!!!!!
Our baby girl is 3 years old today! It is truly amazing how quickly time flies. Everyone tells you when your baby is born they grow so fast and at the time its hard to believe. But now as you get another year older we are understanding what everyone has been saying. This is such a wonderful time in our lives, you are independent and yet you always seem to realize when you need help. You always seem to know when Daddy or Mommy needs a little pick-me-up by saying "I love You Daddy" or "I Love You Mommy" out of the blue for no reason at all or just by coming up to us and giving us hugs and kisses just because you want to. Those gestures mean more to us than you will ever know. You are kind and compassionate. Daddy and Mommy get to hear compliments all the time about how polite you are, and it makes us so proud of you. We love you so much, you are such a beautiful and smart little girl with a full range of emotions, ideas and goals. We want you to know that no matter what you do, what you think, or what you say you can always depend on our support and love forever. Daddy and Mommy wish you only the best that life has to offer you.
I found this poem and thought it was perfect for you.
Fragile as a Rosebud, More Radiant than the Sun
Full of Love and Wonderment
My Precious Little One.
You Touched my Hand, You Gazed at me,
Your Heart so Pure, so True,
I Wonder, do you Realize,
My Life Began with you
Happy 3rd Birthday Sweetheart!
Love, Daddy & Mommy
This post is done in Kylie's favorite color: pink
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Wordless Wednesday - Sleeping Flower Girl
It's hard work being a flower girl...
This was taken at my sister Samantha's wedding while waiting her turn for her picture to be taken.
Check out the new Wordless Wednesday HQ!!
Thursday, August 2, 2007
My sister's wedding
This past weekend we drove to North Dakota to be in my sister Samantha's wedding. It was a beautiful day, bright a sunny and maybe a little hot. I was a bridesmaid and Kylie was the flower girl. My two nephews Tristen and Cole (both one year old) were the ring bearers. I was a little nervous as to how well Kylie was going to do as far as walking up the aisle by herself. During the rehersal she wanted nothing to do with it and only wanted to do it if Mommy was going to walk with her. When Saturday morning arrived we asked her if she was going to throw the petals by herself and to our suprise she said yes! Of course that remained to be seen because she had yet to see all of the people in the church and she was NOT going to get a nap before the wedding. That is part I was most worried about - NO NAP! She is going to be 3 next week and definatly still need the nap.
Anyways she was a little uncooperative for the picturs, but all in all they turned out great. I know without even seeing them they will be cute. She looked like a little angel in her dress.
Anyways she was a little uncooperative for the picturs, but all in all they turned out great. I know without even seeing them they will be cute. She looked like a little angel in her dress.
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